It’s October, the month of pumpkins and spooks. While I normally like to do an inspirational “hump day” post on Wednesdays, it seemed appropriate to start out spooky. Does this little guy scare you? Ha. Yeah, me neithier…but he’s cute. And has nothing to do with my topic other than he is obviously perceived differently than he intends or wishes.
My topic of discussion for today comes from the RWA Nationals conference last summer. I attended a section entitled “The Sociology of Romance” which was hosted by two individuals that performed a study regarding both readers and writers of romance. Below are some of the key points I documented from that study which discuss the general societal perceptions associated. It’s interesting. I am going to throw out a disclaimer before you read on. I became so engrossed with the topic that I often didn’t write notes so what I am documenting is only a very small portion of the overall findings of this study and may not be complete. Also, a great deal of time has passed so my apologies in advance for missing or brief details.
Sociology of Romance:
There is a stigma perception of outsiders regarding romance authors and readers that includes various generalizations which have an underlying (and perhaps negative) purpose in society. What is that purpose? Societal control.
- After-casting-casting another into a specific identity/role.
- Negative casting-intended to manage the other person. It trivializes their work for that purpose. You will find this in many other vocational efforts.
- The outsider doesn’t know how to deal with the writer/reader so wants to trivialize them in order to control their place in society.
- It is also a power mechanism. By trivializing you…I control you and become more powerful than you. I become more important.
There is a stigma regarding the sexual content in romance books.
- Women’s sexuality is shameful. A double-standard as opposed to men’s.
- There is a philosophy of shameful (normally applied to women) vs. shame-free (normally applied to men). Shameful infers that the author is shameful to write, read, and discuss the sexuality of their characters. Shame-free accepts it as a human characteristic and part of a productive, happy life therefore discussing it freely is done without shame.
- Two associations are made (morally neutral or morally loaded (deficient)). Romance authors, specifically women romance authors, are sometimes considered or judged to be in the latter which is ironic because that isn’t the case for male authors that write similar content. There are generally two reactions from outsiders:
- Sneers of disapproval. You are shameful for writing such content…or morally deficient. People may avoid you as a result.
- Leers of approval. You are still shameful and morally deficient but that makes you easy prey for sexually shameless remarks, display, or blurting out invitations that are inappropriate.
Authors that are exposed to either of these associations first hand will normally choose a self defense mechanisms when confronted. They will get angry, defensive, and justify; or personalize the sexuality to control it (throw it back in the person’s face with a very extreme and explicit remark which is intended for shock value). Some will ignore it. Some will focus on self-doubt which can be the most dangerous reaction for the person’s emotional stability.
An important note here which was pointed out in no uncertain terms: MEN WRITERS don’t have this stigma attached to them regardless of the amount or extremity of the sexual content or emotional intensity. There’s a double standard. I’m not trying to go on a rant regarding the difference between men and women authors…I know and have great respect for many very talented authors of both genders. This is simply the findings as stated in the presentation. It is what it is.
SOOOO, How do you mange this as an author?
- Maintain your professionalism.
- Write what appeals to you. Base the sexual content, the relationships, the character development on that and not on fitting societal controls.
- Realize that the stigma exists as a mechanism to curb or control people because their words or interests are different. Accept and embrace the differences simply as that. Differences.
- Point out the absurdity of stigma generalizations when you see them. Make people aware. Do so in a polite and neutral way.
- One of the stigmas attached to romance labels it as a genre fraught with over-emotionalism. This point in itself is ironic because books are only GOOD if they strike an emotional cord so ALL fiction needs to be emotionally charged in order to attract an audience. That said, go back to the first point.
- Maintain your professionalism.
- Filter criticism (keep the positive, ignore the negative)
- Embrace the feminine culture around romance and romance authors. This is a key thing groups like RWA provide. Participate in social groupings that support the creative freedom and expression of your efforts.
- Participate and embrace the writing culture and venture outside your “safe zone” periodically so that you can learn and respect the efforts of others.
- Control self-doubt. This can be most threatening to a writer’s identity. Even more so than societal influences. Accept that if you enjoy writing and reading your work, there are likely others that will too. Just as there will be some that don’t.
- Limit wallowing. Allow yourself a very small and finite time to feel it, then move on to your next endeavor.
- Recognize the point of absurdity in outsider comments, judgements, or behaviors. Choose to ignore or react in a way that’s appropriate to your personality and still maintains professionalism.
One of the key things noted at the conference revolved around the culture of the writing community. It was specific to the romance writer’s community then, but I’ve experienced this culture at virtually EVERY writer’s conference I’ve attended so far. It is a “be nice” culture. The focus is on supporting each other, being nice, being nonjudgemental, and ensuring a safe place to congregate and inspire. It is often filled with inspirational messages and meetings meant to inspire.
If you have more information or further comments, feel free to respond. This is a very abbreviated list of take-aways from the presentation.
Plain and simple, good post! Like most authors, I’ve hurdled the “Oh, you write THAT stuff.” comment. I think it’s one reason why romance authors tend to keep their writing under wraps for quite awhile before they let anyone else know what they are writing. I’ve also received the arched brow of interest when people find out that I write. When I say I write romance, the expressions that play across their faces is almost hilarious. The best is when another ‘secret writer’ finds a like-minded soul and then they whisper that they’re also writing. It’s an interesting genre, and probably the hardest to do well. Truth is in the bottom line. Romance sells more than any other genre. My validation comes from knowing I’ve written a good story. If anyone else gets enjoyment from it, then it’s icing. Thanks, good conversation!
Thanks for the responses Sarah and Jaye. Interestingly, if you look at the keywords associated to most of our books, they also include literary fiction. I once went to a writer’s conference in San Francisco and was the first person in a large group to admit I write romance. Several others fessed up after I did. I was too naïve to consider a published book of any genre cause for embarrassment. Just write characters that you want people to enjoy, sympathize with, and root for. The genre or label attached to the work is less important than trying to write well. A good book is a good book. And yes, it usually strikes a very strong emotional chord in the reader.
Hello Shelley,
I am sorry to hear about your disappointment tied to a writer’s group. From experience, I can tell you that not everyone will react the same way participant zero did. Over the last two years, my daughter (17-years) and I have attended many different group meetings. When you end up in a setting of like-minded individuals, there is nothing else that compares. I encourage you to seek out other groups, or as my daughter did, start a group of your own. My daughter contacted a local library, who ended up sponsoring the group she formed.
Thanks for the great advice. No worries. I participate in several other groups, mostly online, but some meet locally. That has been my only bad experience out of hundreds. Have a great day!
Enjoyed this post very much. I echo a lot of what Jaye says above. I find the most prevalent preconception I encounter is that romance writers and romance novels are substandard and not ‘proper’ books. I just smile through that one, as will anyone who has ever taken the thought of writing a book and put it into action.
Great post, Shelley! Thank you for taking the time to summarize for us. Sadly, the societal dichotomy between how men and women are viewed still exists despite all of the strides women have made in the last fifty years. When faced with the mindset that believes being a woman is still somehow a lesser form of existence, I remember the words of George Herbert, clergyman and poet. “Living well is the best revenge.” It is also reassuring to know how many romance writers are laughing all the way to the bank! So, I guess it is love that really makes the world go round. Please forgive the three cliches in a row, but cliches exist because at their cores are universal truths, so if the shoe fits. . . . 🙂
Great post. Two things to share: 1. When I remarked to a woman that I needed to revise my manuscript to correct an issue with the plot, she said, “Wow. You actually have to have a plot that makes sense?” And she was serious. 2. In this month’s RWR, they cited to the Business of Consumer Book Publishing 2013’s report that romance fiction was the top-performing category on the best-seller lists in 2012. Romance rules!
Yes!