Doing the Work of Lazy Words

by

Robyn Corum
robync
More and more you hear people preach against using adjectives and adverbs.   Why?  Because, typically, they are the lazy man’s way to decorate a page of  prose.  Certainly, precise and colorful adjectives and adverbs exist, but one  must search far and wide to find them.  For those who have been out of the  classroom for a while, let’s review.
Adjectives – words that describe  or modify nouns. Adverbs – words that describe or modify  verbs
Examples:
The pretty girl skipped merrily.                    The red rhinoceros ate the green leaves quickly.                   Harry  walked around the snake carefully.
‘Pretty’, ‘red’ and  ‘green’ are all adjectives because they describe or tell more about nouns in  these sentences.  ‘Merrily’, ‘quickly’ and ‘carefully’ are all adverbs because  they modify or tell more about the verbs.  You’ll notice that I used all –ly  adverbs in this case.  I love to hate them, and you should too.  They are what I call ‘lazy  words’ and send up a flag – it’s time to get to work!
Take the sentence,  “The pretty girl skipped merrily.”  Because we’ve used lazy words, that sentence  tells us nothing concrete about our subject or what she’s doing.  I get a  picture in my mind, but it’s a hazy one.  And it’s rather boring.  We can do  better.
By swapping indistinct adjectives for more precise ones, we can  zoom in on our subject.  “The auburn-haired, freckle-faced girl…” gives me a  better picture than ‘the pretty girl.’  How ‘bout you?
Swapping out  adverbs puts us to work.  ‘Skipped merrily’ should send a flag from now on.   That –ly word is a sign that you are TELLing and not  SHOWing.   Ask yourself  HOW you can draw a picture in the reader’s mind.  Let’s try… “The auburn-haired,  freckle-faced girl hopped the squares in the sidewalk.”
Do you begin to see a  better picture?
Let’s look at another one.  “Harry walked  around the snake carefully.”
We don’t have any adjectives this time, but  we have a pesky adverb.  It’s one of the obvious ones, and one that raises a  ‘lazy flag’.  What is it?  (If you said, ‘carefully’, you’re right!)   So that  means it’s time to roll up our sleeves and EARN all that money we make.  (ha)
How can we SHOW, and not TELL?
“Harry inched his way around the snake,  watching to see if it moved.”
By changing the verb to a more ACTIVE verb  – ‘inched’, we can SHOW more clearly what Harry was doing.  By adding a little  more information, we can SHOW his concern with the snake’s movements.  Make  sense?
I’ll let you do the last example.  Respond with its modification  in your comments and we’ll see how you do.  Good luck and remember to stay away  from the LAZY adjectives and adverbs.  Use those –ly ones whenever possible as a  flag.  Your writing will improve by leaps and bounds!
***
Robyn Corum
Freelance Writer, Blogger, and Guest Blogger
Author:  Melinda Heads West 
Author: Pieces of Her Mind
COVER.MELINDA.